In The Beginning:  

After many years of being in the closet and surviving a major accident I decided it was time to venture into the public eyeInitially I would go for short drives, generally wearing a bandana to keep my short wig from coming loose.  On one trip, I became thirsty, so I decided to stop at the local convenience store, forgetting that I was still dressed as a woman. As I went in, I noticed people staring at me.  I realized what I had done and retreated in haste, as my appearance was not refined. 

     As part of the next step, I bought a pair of gold hoop earrings, pierced my ears, and wore the hoops while in the house. The next step was harder.  For the first time I ventured out into the public eye! I was sure; I was making a spectacle of myself. Although nicely dressed, I was easily identified as a male.  The point, however, was driven home one day, when a gentleman approached me as I was looking at a cosmetic display and remarked, " my what a pretty dress, you are wearing."  I recognized immediately that he noticed that I was a man   how humiliating!

     Before I went out again, I decided that I had to develop more poise, so I took to walking around in isolated areas.  How alone I felt through all these early times, as I had no one with whom to discuss what I was feeling.   It was very difficult to determine my progress.  Little by little, I gained more confidence and learned again by trial and error what not to do.  I took to watching the morning talk shows on makeup or programs dealing with crossdressing. One morning I saw a program sponsored by Ladies' Home Journal about a couple who changed roles for a week.  As I watched him get ready, I learned various techniques for dressing of which I was not aware.  Padding and color in the right place, is essential. 

This is especially true in terms of body style as men are usually in terms of figure, an inverted women, that is wide shoulders and narrow hips with a lower waist line. Based on this program I learned that I had been wearing my bra too high with little padding in my hips. Bra size depends on how you see yourself and can be ascertained by measuring underneath your nipples and adding an inch, this will give you an approximate bra sizing, there are two measurements: the circumference around the chest area, expressed in inches, and the size of the cup, expressed as a letter. Cup sizes start at in the AA range (smaller) and go up to DDD (larger). Common sizes are A, B, C and D. In terms of sizing the size you choose for your forms is: smaller is better. The reasoning is that smaller breasts are less likely to get you stared at in public when you are trying to "pass."  however, the size you choose doesn't matter, as long as it is congruous with your body and you are comfortable with the way you look. This means you should take into account not only how tall you are, but your basic body shape.  At 5'10 I discovered after a lot of trial and error initially to settle on a B cup. However my present wife decided a C cup looked more appropriate.  The next step is harder and can be expensive, that is filling the cup,  some have used water filled zip-lock bags to give weight, others have used bird seed, but these do not fill properly and leakage can be disasterous. All  types of forms, foam, or silicon are available, Mastectomy bra foams are also available but considerably more expensive, however they conform to all the features to fit the bra perfectly as they are designed for the women following breast surgery (Contact me if you desire a pair)                                                                 To  pad my hips, I now bought a lycra smoother used for wearing under skirts and sewed foam padding into it to augment the hips and thighs.  By this process, I raised my waistline and I was amazed by what a couple of inches make.  I put together a reasonable looking outfit and went out into the public eye once again. As time went on, however, I made more and more improvements.  As my confidence level soared, I made another important discovery, be yourself and don't try to project another image. As time went on I realized to go out into the public eye it is essential that one maintains his dignity and a high degree of self confidence even if he is aware of stares and sniggering around him. 

                                                                                   

          then                                                   now

With these facts in mind one can achieve whatever he would like to do, whether it be simply casual outside or around the house.  simply shopping or at the beach.                                

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